I think I’m…. (3.75).

If your’e reading from part three point five then you already know how the news was broken. So this is now an account of how things actually went down……

(after the poem)….

So thats exactly how the news was broken , well, with some words before and after it, a good lot of letting out of heart and a significant deal of stomach butterflies to accompany the sentiments.

You know theres this thing that says ‘ it will always work until when you really need it to work’ well sometimes it happens and it dared kick in at the wrong moment. I just dont know where the words went and the few that were around came out with  quite some struggle.

Well it had taken a whole semester  for this day to come and yet again it’d taken the whole day for the perfect time to come by.

Umm, just to veer of a little, it was the last day of the semester and and as a group discussion squad we treated ourselves to some ‘nyamachoma’ after the last paper of the final exam. Before and after the choma session, this inner me kept on nudging that I should seize the opportunity and let the cat out of the bag.

Severally I brushed this off and for the three times I actually gave in and started the conversation, something just interrupted and… the mission had to be aborted.

It was still two in the afternoon at that point. Time was running out but I just held myself back, waiting, hoping that I’ll be able to actually get her alone.

The major part of the afternoon was actually spent making triller videos of us dancing, our way of frittering time.

Video time passed away and we went on to selfies as we walked towards the school cafeteria. Fast foward, and we’re seated at the cafe’. Five of us, guys leaving one after the other till the number came down to three. Now stories are disappearing and the cold is sipping in slow so we decide to leave; the two of us taking our way and the other guy taking his..

So here came the moment..

The time, to let the feline out of the bag, the time to speak one’s heart out. Things all over a sudden became so slow and everything now felt calm because she actually went silent, waiting for me to say what had taken me a whole day of postponingโ€‹. The tension at this point, quite reminded me of public speaking back in high school, when all eyes in the room would just widen and all mouths shut,  all ears yearning to hear from me. Some similar silence was literally reigning right then. The breaths I was taking were Soo deep but it did nothing to ease the situation. I brought all my thoughts to what was at hand and shot.

It kicked off with a question, and I actually asked to know if she’d read the pieces whose links I’d sent  previously. (That’s actually links to part one to three of this series). Well though she pretty much was in a caught up situation right now, she did avoid that question with sheer profession. It didn’t come out of her mouth, though I’d already deduced that she had, not even an inkling of  what those pieces were and to solidify things, she’d not even set her eyes on even a word of them.

Anyway if she’d sampled them, then she pretty much would have predicted what I wanted to say right now as a result of what part three looked like. All these about making mastered courage count and knowing it’s time to………(blah)…..

So things in my opinion were going the right way that way cause now she couldn’t be having an idea of what was in store for her.
Wait, did I mention that I’d waited all day that day for this? In my mind right then, killing this moment was what reigned. That inner sound kept on reverberating on how I just had to give the best I could. So I went on to drop the next jack .

“What would it sound like to you, if I said that all those poems I’d been sending had you as the subject matter..”

Well this was only meant to be news, but the trick turned it into a shocker;owing to the fact that I’d used a q in the place of a statement  and gave the question a taste of indirect flavour.

I should say to you right now that she really wasn’t expecting that and on my finishing the question, some let’s say mental unrest could be read all over her face. Whatever she was saying now either just was passing my ears or was made of incomplete words and illogical statement arrangements. Believe you me, those words shouldn’t sound that harsh as I may have made them sound, but a confusion was seriously bombarding her thoughts, at least from what I was seeing. All this time I’d been walking silently right next to her as she shook her head, looked around,placed her palm on her chest and all that stuff…. 

It took close to fifteen minutes of the world’s longest time for her to regain herโ€‹ existence and ask; “you mean you wrote about me?” And this q came with a striking stare into my eyes. So I looked right in there and said..’ well yes I did’ while giving that reassuring nod characteristic of me. At this juncture, it now took wrapping my arm around her to get  her to say what she was having trouble saying. With that, some words actually came out. 

” I’m flattered Ed, I’m……… I’m just………… I don’t know…..I’m ….. I’m really honoured..”

Now this yet is the best description of speechlessness I’ve ever sampled my whole life…..



To be continued……

Stay tuned.


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