Sour nostalgia, frightening scintillations, terrific chills, exasperating remembrances. What’s left of a love story. Archaic. Cloudy.
When her light started dimming, my days grew dark, darker with every passing hour as I lay in wait, patient, drenched in hope, and soaked in thought, waiting. Here I was, sacrificed by my beliefs, crucified by the ways my conscience deemed best.
The days I was counting, one after the other, wearing my knees off, trying to converse with someone whose existence I now doubted, threatened to turn into months. I was afraid another moon was going to show up before the words I awaited came out of her mouth. The words that would either plaster happiness on my existence or whoop me up, like a Cherokee drum, the Dwayne Johnson way.
I’d always asked questions my whole life. I can still remember how mother’s mood would dramatically change, thanks to my inquinsitive nature. I can still recall the many times when the curious me got on her nerves. Well, now, all that qualifies to be called a by-gone, a sweet past, because at least back then I would get answers albeit never enough to quench the thirst. The array of questions that flooded my mind now disoriented my being. Many questions and no one to ask, let alone to answer them. It shredded my insides that a why or how always was in my brain making painful reverberations, threatening to drive me mental if answers didn’t come; but ow, I was far from being saved.
I could still remember the old me. The good old Ed. I still remembered how I’d sworn to myself to not ever be blinded by love. I could applaud myself for how long I’d managed to religiously live by that principle, and still, I remember how that principle came to stop seeing the light of day. She happened. She did happen, and whenever I laid my eyes on her, her beauty dealt blows to the weak ideas I had about love, vigorously strangling them, squeezing all the life out of them and replacing them with proof that love indeed could happen at first sight.
It was the start of a story, the beginning of an end.
Chapters will start rolling out soon.